My Life, Made Possible By Pop Culture

TiVo is a drug dealer; it remembers what you watch and makes recommendations for what you might want to try. It has sometimes even been known to record an episode of one or two such programs to “give you a little taste.”  Whether or not you are known to have an addictive personality prior to obtaining a DVR doesn’t much matter, as the minute the box is opened in your living room, the device will undoubtedly turn you into a greedy, obsessive Gollum-esque shell of your former self.

TiVo makes you feel bad for missing an episode of your favorite show. It’s such an easy machine to use how could you not record it… and once it’s sitting there, waiting for you in your very own living room, why wouldn’t you watch it?  With the “old-fashioned” way of watching television (ie: linearly), you have to make choices.  If two of your favorite shows are on opposite each other (let’s use the Cold Case/Desperate Housewives Sundays at 9 debacle), you have to consciously pick one over the other; you have to act as an informed and responsible citizen.  Maybe you’ll catch up on the other show during reruns in the summer, maybe when it comes to DVD months later, or maybe you’ll watch one week of one and then one week of the other.  Now, it may seem like a benefit that with TiVo recording one while you watch the other “live,” you can get the best of both worlds, so to speak, but very soon it will become an obsessive desire to start recording all sorts of new programming—shows you may have vowed never to get sucked into– and do you really need to check out Farmer Wants A Wife?  Suddenly the very device which was supposed to offer freedom from the shackles appointment television will be weighing you down in a different way.

Suddenly all of the daytime programming that used to be reserved for housewives, unemployed people, and children home sick from school will be fair game. The compulsive desire to record every episode of Ellen: The Ellen Degeneres Show or Live With Regis and Kelly—just for the host chat, you’ll tell yourself (and you know what? Throw in The View for Hot Topics while you’re at it, since you can), but within a little time you’ll watch the full episode. It’d start by just wanting to see a specific guest, but it will spiral. Oh, it will spiral. The desire will become a need, and soon TiVo will be obese with episodes of Judge Judy and Gilmore Girls (or whatever) in syndication, even though you probably already own the full series on DVD.

Since people now record programming to watch it at their convenience later, the ratings game has completely changed; shows are pulled off the air prematurely because the number of viewers tuning in during its regularly scheduled timeslot is lower than ever.  There is no sense of pride regarding favorite shows anymore; with TiVo you can easily take a show for granted, stockpiling episodes in your sleek, silver box, only to watch them at a later date.  But maybe that date never comes or by the time it does, you get to episode three only to find that there is no four.  Was there a technical glitch in your beloved box (probably not, but that’s something to think about, too; when a show runs long, TiVo just cuts off its recording, making you miss the last three-pointer in the NCAA Championship game or the “bring down the house” performance on American Idol) or did the network pull the show because not enough people were watching?  TiVo has the potential to put more Below The Line crewmembers out of work than the WGA Strike!

TiVo will be full in a manner of weeks, and ironically, you’ll have to sit at home watching episodes back-to-back all day and night just to be able to delete some so you have enough free space for the next day/night’s shows. There will be dark rings around your eyes from lack of sleep, pale skin from sitting in the house in front of the television instead of going out and joining the real world, and an obsessive little tick that only thinks of your next fix. Before you know it, you’ll be a junkie.  We all need to just say no… to TiVo.

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