My Life, Made Possible By Pop Culture

The following is a transcription of my thoughts from what was set to be the final performance of RENT but what is now just the final Broadway performance I will see of RENT:

When the theatre goes dark, and the tree comes down, and the posters get pulled from the walls, we aren’t just saying good-bye to a piece of pop culture or music history: we are saying good-bye to a young artist’s legacy.  There is no doubt in my mind that if Jonathan were here tonight, he would have another brilliant play in development, if not already on Broadway.  Sadly, though, that can never be the case, and I only hope he can be proud of the success RENT has had, even though he could not be here to revel in it.

When RENT first opened, I was twelve years old, and my parents wouldn’t let me see it.  They thought I was too young for the content; somehow they had convinced themselves that I had never been exposed to sex or drugs or disease before, and they wanted to shield me from it— in effect to shield me from life.  That summer, though, I was able to hear the words from the soundtrack, and I was moved in a way I had never been before. Roger and Mimi’s combativeness in “Another Day” perfectly depicted what I was battling within myself on a daily basis.  Could I adopt the “live in the moment” attitude I so admired from a true Bohemian or was I destined to be a constant worrier, desperate to set myself up now for a future that may never even come?

I greatly admired the carefree joy of “La Vie Boheme,” yelling along at the top of my lungs with the names of those incomparable creatives and yearning to be one of them. When Anthony Rapp sang “Is anyone in the mainstream?” I couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in the corners of my eyes; that single line summed up exactly how I wanted to be.  During years when I could not feel more different, here were some other young people just living their lives and happy to do so in the way they wanted to: they didn’t think they were the outsiders, and they were genuinely confused by the idea of “the masses.” I made a connection in an isolating age.

“What You Own” made me want to rebel against my upper middle class mother’s way of buying my love; I was both Mark and Roger in the middle of “Goodbye Love;” and I painfully understood “One Song Glory” and “Santa Fe” and that deep desire to be somewhere great and to do something great, just to leave your mark on this world before it spits you back out.

Normally I would never encourage anyone to run out and purchase Chris Cooper’s bastardization of this beautiful story, but I am going to do so now; I will even provide you with a direct way to do so.  If you can get past all of the glossiness and bright colors and fake sets of the Hollywood lens, which seems to have tried its damnedest to make a very gritty, very real, sad story family-friendly, and if you can forget about all of the eloquent words Cooper omitted or changed, there is an extremely touching documentary on the second disc about Jonathan—his life, his work, his passion, his art.  That is the film that should have been shown nationwide; that is how you should remember this story and these characters if you’ve never had a chance to see it play out on a stage.

So I don’t hope that the final night closes with the full rendition of “Seasons Of Love,” but rather “Louder Than Words” from tick Tick BOOM instead.  I think those are words and the message Jonathan would want us to be left with at this time of change.  If nothing else, there is something poetic in how he ended up doing a lot of what he sung in that number.  He is the voice of a generation, and through the touring company, the Original Broadway Cast recordings, and any subsequent revivals, he will be the voice of many future generations, as well.

Thank you, Jonathan Larson!

RENT has been extended through the summer and tickets are still on sale for shows until September 7th on Broadway and will be on sale shortly for the touring company of RENT, featuring OBCers Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal.

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